A big family dinner with the ex: a logistical challenge

A big family dinner with the ex: a logistical challenge

When you’re divorced and have children, whether they are grown or young, if you want to see them on every holiday, you can. But you will have to do some work.

Coordination with your ex for family dinners and holidays

It’s familiar territory to see a big family dinner as a challenge. But some familiar steps are here when you add your ex to the mix.

• Figure out hosting: Do you want to headline the event or not? That’s an important thing to know right away. If you want to be invited, make that clear.
• Start early: Getting the jump on holiday plans is a must. Your ex may not be the planner you are, but invitations to the winter holiday dinners go out early. If you want to make this happen, you must get your intentions out there early.
• Be open to suggestions: Everyone has their traditions, and yours aren’t supreme. There’s a dish event or movie that makes the holidays feel real for everyone, and it’s different for everyone. You want this to go off well; you need to recognize that.
• Focus on the event: You divorced your ex for a reason. However, you’re committed to making this work for your kids, so you want to focus on the day, not everything else. There’s a lot of baggage there, but you—and your ex—will be better off leaving that in the car.

Going for a family meal or family get-together with an ex is hard. But if it makes your kids happy, then that might be for the best.