Be on guard when you divorce a narcissist in Washington

Be on guard when you divorce a narcissist in Washington

When a pair of Washington spouses ends their relationship, it’s not uncommon for them to encounter challenges as they negotiate a settlement. This is especially true for spouses who are parents together. Divorce is never easy, but it’s possible to achieve a fair settlement in an amicable fashion when both parties are willing to cooperate and compromise as needed. But what if one is a narcissist? If you are separating from a spouse who exhibits narcissistic behavior, you’ll have your work cut out to protect your interests and emotional health.

Remember that most narcissists see themselves as victims. If you file for a divorce, your narcissistic spouse might view the situation as something “being done” to him or her. This means that he or she will likely see proceedings from an adversarial perspective. A swift and amicable settlement may not be the way your divorce unfolds, which is why you’ll want to arm yourself with information and know-how to protect your interests, and more importantly, to avoid letting the narcissist upset your mental and emotional health.

A narcissist might try to pull tricks in a divorce

A narcissist wants total control over life’s events (and people). Your ex may resort to one or more of the following tactics to keep you from achieving your goals in a divorce:

• Request delays
• Tell lies to try to damage your reputation in court
• Hide assets
• Request sole custody as a means of revenge
• Attempt to alienate your children from you
• Spark anger or emotional outburst in you so that you appear “crazy” in court

Regarding the last tactic on the list, a narcissist loves to provoke someone while he or she remains calm and composed. During divorce proceedings, this might mean stirring up trouble with you before you enter the courtroom or while proceedings are taking place. The goal is to get you to fly off the handle while the judge is observing your behavior. Your ex will remain calm, making it look like you are the aggressive and unreasonable parent.

Keeping proceedings going is part of the strategy

A narcissist might file motion upon motion to keep you locked in a court battle during a divorce. This could wind up costing you a lot of money, which is usually part of the plan. Even after the court issues a final decree, your ex might find reasons to take you back to court to battle out every issue that arises, especially regarding child custody or child support.

Try not to take the bait. Research Washington divorce and child custody laws ahead of time. Make sure you have a clear understanding of your financial status. Compile a list of needs and goals for yourself and your children. Most importantly, don’t hesitate to reach out for additional support if you don’t feel capable of going toe-to-toe with your ex in court.